This post mostly covers the three love theory of modern relationship. Before I start explaining, I would like to say that, I am not a dating coach or guru, neither a relationship expert. Then Why I am writing this post, Because, I am a  big fan of  Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, and scientist and  Mark Manson, the NY time the best writer.

In the world of dating apps like Tinder and Happen, It is difficult to decide what you want? Relationship or sex, just a hookup or friendships.

People often confused sex with love or reverse of that, but most in the former case than the latter one. Love is the consequence of sex, then there might be a problem with people involved.

This is the problem with modern dating and relationship. If two people start with a “friends with the relationship” or “just a hookup”. Then love to get in between them, then this leads to nowhere.


Scientist like Helen, studies the cognitive of Love, relation, and dating, She was able to map the neurological component with modern love, dating, and relationship in the real world.

Anyone with fair amount of  love and relationship can relate this in their life.

The three types of love she came up with her theories: Lust, passion, and  Commitment.

They are interrelated with each other and also independent to each other.


three love theory mordern relationship

Lust is an instantaneous feeling that you can relate more often. It is pure and has instantaneous replication.  Lust is yes/no proposition, simply you want to have sex or not at that instant moment. It is based on behavior and level of attraction. It can go as fast as it comes.

In simple words,

Do you want to fuck him/her or not, right now? Yes or No?


three love theory modern relationship
Photo by Adam Kontor from Pexels

Passion is the connection occurs between two smitten people. Think of Romeo and Juliet, or like honeymoon couple those who wanted to spend every bit of time together.

Passion cannot exist without lust. But lust can exist without passion.


three love theory modern relationship

Commitment is when the passion of the lover exist to find a new generation. Commitment is a very powerful string that exists between two lovers.

According to research, the couples who reach the highest level of commitment find to merge with each other. By the way, the third love of commitment exists for a longer period of time.


Tinder is what exists in this world. It’s complicated and so is modern dating. You try to swipe right until you find the perfect match.

three love theory modern relationship

Ok, back to the point, you are just trying to find everything without commitment. That’s all it call in my language. A proper dating leading to a perfect sex or either just want all the benefits without commitment. This only leads to feeling apart or you may even develop one.


Lust cannot exist without passion and commitment cannot exist without passion. But you should know that lust cannot lead to commitment. Lust is constaneous comes and go constantly, Passion is the result of lust and Commitment is the extension of passion.

In this modern world, you have to realize first what you need at that moment of time. It totally depends on the individual perspective, but don’t go for commitment if are not ready!


Choose wisely.

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1 Comment

  1. Hey! Nice article. Love is one of the best feelings for mankind. Good effort to cover all the aspects.

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